Self Portrait

Not much to say really.
This was an unexpected reaction to a bad commission experience, I had a sudden urge to
do something for me. Much reflection on my life as a painter ensued after this difficult episode and my first self portrait was the result.

Blood out of a stone

Although it is never hard to motivate myself to paint, one thing that seems to take an increasingly large amount of personal effort is letting people into my world and showing them what I have been doing. As we seem to have arrived at a place online where it is normal for everyone to be telling everyone else what they are doing and thinking at every given moment of each day, I seem to be finding it much harder to type. Here however, is my latest contribution to add to the over saturation.










'Altitude'

'The Day the Trees Fell'

'Do.Re'

About time

So, it has been quite a depressingly long time since I last wrote and had things to show. As you will be able to see it's not been because I havn't been working, it's just that these two have taken me such a long time due to their size (both around 140cm tall) and detail. I think these two may have pushed me over the edge, in the sense of taking my patience to the limit. I still do get great pleasure from these long studies and there is still a sense of achievement when they are completed but I have been feeling over recent months a frustration that they are beginning to stifle a much more expressive exploration of my ideas with paint. As these two have drawn to their conclusion I have done a number of quicker, more abstract paintings which have got me excited and I will blog about them in the next few weeks.


Working title of 'Humming Birds' completed after visiting Colorado last summer


'The Letter'

Umbrella, Octopus, China

I was asked to do a painting on an umbrella for an exhibition in China. With my recent connection and fascination with that country and the simple fact that the idea of producing work on an umbrella intrigued me, I jumped at the opportunity. I painted an octopus...........it's now over in Shanghai.

two.....seven

Like many people, I think too much on my birthday. Do I really know myself? Am I where I want to be? Am I doing what I should be doing? Am I on the right path? Am I making the most of my time here on this planet? Have I explored enough? Do I need to travel to explore or is all I need around me wherever I may be? Am I happy? Do I produce better work when I am miserable? Am I lonely? Do I care? Should I get a 'proper' job? Should I drink less?

Is this painting finished?!

Luckily that last question had already been answered. About three weeks ago I woke up thinking that the day was going to be spent on 'Blueberries', another day of endless tinkering, moving millimetres of paint around, standing at the 'far' end of my tiny room, staring at it, trying to get whatever the balance is I am looking for, absolutely right. Instead, without any warning I started a new painting! By that evening this big (for me) painting had been drawn up and the idea was there, as if from nowhere, clear in my head of exactly how 'The Letter' was going to develop. It is these unexpected explosions I had forgotten about. I looked at 'Blueberries' leaning against the the wall and it seemed like it was already in the past, I was pleased with it, it was finished.





'Blueberries'- Oil on board

Ahhh 2006......

Ahhh 2006..... comfortable and confident in the medium of acrylic, ideas flowing to a degree that now seems ridiculous, constant scribbling in the little books. Then the inevitable pull of OILS, the belief that to progress as a painter I had to ditch the acrylics and evolve with a new medium, a seamless transition, surely?

This transitional period has in fact been horrific. Months of frustration and messy sleeves, painfully slow, the ideas faded and died as there was no time to realise them, 'the cube' was put up on the shelf for another day. When I did get work down I couldnt bear to look at what I had done, it was like I'd had part of my brain removed or I'd been attempting to paint with my elbows, or both. The hours sat hunched over my work, the time in which I am at my most content and calm had been taken away and replaced with a war.



Attempts have come and gone, paintings have merged into other paintings then been cut in half, and half again and thrown across the room. During this time a complex of sorts has developed in me, the 'its not finished yet' complex, something I had not had a problem with before but it seems the longer you go without finishing a piece of work, the harder it becomes to sign your name.

This blog is here to welcome in the new dawn, NEW WORK! I have finally got to the stage with oils where they are starting to do what I want and although 'its not finished yet', my new painting will be finished very soon and will be seen here first. This blog will also give me the opportunity to show work in progress and my other work that I do that never makes it on to my website.




Image 1. One of the unfinished scraps of wood.

Image 2. A still life. Good learning experience no matter how soul destroying.